Friday, 11 May 2012

My Bi-Polar.

So what does Bi-Polar mean to you?
Am i excused from normal conventional behaviour?
Do my explosions and bursts convince you i'm not an avarage person?
Are you scared of me? Scared to offend?
Do i make you think of Mental incapacities and disability and disorders and diseases?
Who am i to you?
When is it ok for me to be down? All the time?
Should i try harder to be 'Normal' ?
Is my behaviour inexcusable?
Why do i act the way i do?
What goes on in my head?
Do you judge me? Admit it if you do. It's not a problem. I don't mind.
What's so different about me?
Do you have Questions?
I'll tell you a story.
I was born.
I have siblings.
I liked to play with toys and read books.
There's no food i don't like. I've never been picky.
I'm interested in Art, Science, Maths, History, Geography, everything.
I listen to all music. I like all people.
I am not vindictive or aggressive..
I love animals and children, i've worked in youth work, nursery, with the elderly.
I have no specific taste in clothing or homeware.
I like bright colours and to change my hair, get tattoos, peircings, to change myself for me.
Sometimes i don't bath for a few days.
I have no specific religion. I beleive in whatever is appropriate to the situation and time. Mostly i call this agnosticism.
I have very little knowledge of Politics but i know what i want for the world.
I am not Racist, Ageist, Sexist, Homophobic or in any way Discriminatory
I like to cook, i have some weird taste, fried egg on spreaded chilli cheese on toast with chives.
I would love to travel but i put my own preferences aside for my family.
I bite my nails and pick my nose and sometimes i scratch my bum.
I don't want a kindle because i like to turn pages.
Sometimes i get so hyper and spirited that i lose whole days at a time where i'm dancing around and playing like and idiot.
I smoke, i like wine, beer and spirits, i've taken drugs and i've been in fights.
I can change nappies until the cows come home but i can't hear or see someone be sick without being sick myself.
I want a big wedding, fun and memorable and a huge dress.
I like rude comedy and horror films. I love incense sticks and strange cubist arts.
I have a cat. And an aquarium which has a lobster.
Sometimes i cry for hours because of the smallest thing.
Sometimes i hate the world and myself and everything for no goodreason
I think i'm normal, though i know technically, on paper, and in other people's eyes i'm not.
This is my Bi-polar. I embrace it. Without my Bi-polar i am nothing. Without me, my bi-polar is nothing.
So do you think i'm normal?
Am i just like you other friends?
Would you want me teaching your children?
Looking after your mother?
Taking your uncle for a walk?
Do i still intimidate you?
Would you buy my book?
Read my blog?
View my art?
Hug me? Kiss me?
Or just pretend i wasn't there.
Think of me as normal.
It's the best way to go about things.